


overflowing

by grey_0_green



Series: running water [2]
Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Infidelity, Kinda, M/M, Pining, a sneak peak into their relationship, deceptively heterosexual, yeah it's canon but i hate it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-18
Updated: 2019-01-18
Packaged: 2019-10-11 17:59:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17451731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grey_0_green/pseuds/grey_0_green
Summary: They love each other, supposedly.





	overflowing

**Author's Note:**

> hello!!! i am back with,,,, a lil drabble bc i wanted to put something else out there as like!! a bit of an in between - and also kind of to extend the life of waterfalls omg I'm Sorry i say literally the same thing for the other drabble but!! this one is about sing and akira's relationship so Worry Not they are different i promise (this also takes place towards the end of chapter five of my longer fic but!! it can be read separately If You So Choose)

When Sing first meets Akira, she’s still a child. She is bright eyes and a brighter future, holding up the weight of expectations she can never fulfil but somehow not staggering underneath it.

She’s too young to understand, he thinks. He has no intention of telling her why Okumura-san’s smiles always look like that - like they’re strained. Like something isn’t letting him smile. She’s got a bit of a crush on him - which is cute, he thinks, because she’s thirteen and doesn’t know any better.

She’s still got that curiosity that comes with being young, that curiosity that, for him, at least, is long gone, and he thinks maybe a part of him envies her. He envies her innocence, he envies her shining youth.

He envies the way she way she speaks, all light and bubbly, the way she smiles so easily, like there’s no reason at all why she shouldn’t.

Sing thinks that maybe he would like to smile like that, someday.

It just doesn’t feel like he could.

→ ←

She’s warm.

That’s all Sing can think when he sees her for the first time again, five years later. She’s warm, and soft. He hasn’t touched her, but her eyes melt chocolate in the sun and her skin glows like a thousand stars.

She radiates life, she radiates happiness, and Sing thinks that she might just be warm enough.

Warm water, to soothe the ache in his chest. Warm water, to fill the holes in his heart. Warm water, splashing his insides, dripping from his intestines. Warm water, tidal waves in his heart, crashing around him.

Waves are nice, he thinks. Standing underneath towers of water, the thrill of an adrenaline rush running through him, a split second of a high. And then it crashes around him, and everything hurts, and there’s saltwater clogging his arteries and burning in the back of his throat.

Waves are nice, he thinks, but they can hurt so, so much.

He’d like to say she can make him forget, but all she does is numb the pain a little.

A little _,_ but not enough.

The way she looks at him makes him feel salt burning in his heart, open wounds sprinkled with seawater and someone that cares. She looks at him like he’s everything she could ever want, and he thinks that maybe his heart burns because Sing knows that he can’t give her what she really wants.

She’s coy, fluttering lashes and hands that linger on his arm for just a little too long, and he thinks that he can still feel her fingerprints on his skin long after she’s gone.

He feels like she’s marked him.

Free land, claimed by no one. Unloved, never noticed in the way he so desperately craves, uncared for by the one he's been longing for his whole life.

And now he’s been claimed, by what he supposes must be the next best thing.

The next best thing, not quite enough.

"What are you thinking about?" she asks, and Sing won’t ever tell her.

"You," he says instead, and she smacks his arm.

"You’re so cliché," she says, but there’s pink on her cheeks and she’s breathing just a little bit faster.

When he kisses her, she melts, and Sing feels like he has to hold her together underneath him.

He’s not quite sure how to do that when he can barely hold himself together.

He feels nothing when he kisses her - at least, nothing he should. He feels regret when he touches her and he feels guilt screaming under his skin. She’s so soft, the skin on her waist smooth and warm, her lips beneath his gentle and hot.

His heart doesn’t snag on barbed wire like it does when he kisses Yut Lung, it just slips on water from a tap he’d forgotten to turn off. It doesn’t bleed, now, it just bruises, ever so slightly, nothing cushioning his heart from the fall.

Kissing Akira doesn’t come with the bite of razors in his skin, blood flowing and tears falling, not like it does with Yut Lung, and Sing thinks that maybe he should be grateful. He should.

But now he feels nothing, all he feels is her skin, and all he feels is cold.

**Author's Note:**

> come talk to me on [tumblr](https://grey-x-green.tumblr.com/)!! comments and kudos are lovely ;((


End file.
